I have a lot of health issues, but I do my best not to allow them to control my life. One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing people complain that this hurts or that hurts and they don't want to go to work, or need more drugs to feel better. People make excuses to get out of things over the slightest ache or pain. If they had any idea what it is like to not be able to work because of their health, maybe their attitude would change! I have struggled my entire life with my epilepsy, I worked more than most people and raised a child mostly alone. Even after my stroke, I fought to return to work and have a normal life. Day after day it was a battle, but it wasn't an option for me! I wanted to work, so I told myself I could do it! Even now that my health has gotten to the point I can't work, yes, it still drives me insane that I can't! I have days I wake up feeling like I can't get out of bed... but I do. I don't always get things done when I want to, but I never give up! I rarely complain about how I feel... what good does that do? It throws negative energy out to the universe! Positive attitude puts positive energy out, bringing positive results back to me. Most of my friends don't even know how bad my health problems are, I don't like burdening them with my silly issues. Sometimes they think I am blowing them off if I cancel plans last minute, and really- I'd rather have them upset for that than have them thinking I'm too sick to enjoy myself.
Currently between my epilepsy, severe anxiety, depression, and possible ME... I struggle to leave my home without my husband, sometimes not even then. Do I like this life? No, but I love MY life, and these things are just a part of it that I have to deal with day to day. I never know if I will be able to make that ride we planned, or even the grocery shopping tomorrow... until that day, that hour gets here. A lot of times I force myself to get out even if I don't feel up to it, just so I can make an appearance and people won't think I am being anti-social or something.
It is hard for people to understand what I go thru and how I feel, so I don't try to explain. Yes, I hurt, yes, I'm tired most of the time. Headaches, them too. And the seizures... nobody has any idea the pain and total exhaustion that goes along with them unless they have experienced the kind of seizures I have.
I get up everyday, even if I feel like death. I take care of my animals and start my day no matter what. I look in the mirror and tell myself I can get thru this day and WILL get thru this day! And it's ok if I don't get everything accomplished that I had on my todo list. My health is more important than the laundry!
I would give anything to be able to have a job again and go to work everyday, doing something productive and helping to bring money into the home. My family tells me that I am still helping, even if not financially. Cooking, cleaning, and being there emotionally for everyone. I have never done well as a stay at home mom, but I accept it for what it is. Everything happens for a reason, my health challenges have been great lessons on a number of levels. And I will continue to be thankful for being able to get out of bed everyday and care for my family!
It is what it is, so make the best of it and love your life and be grateful for that job!
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