Family Closeness

Last week a member of my husbands family passed away. I had met her only a few times, but she always remembered me and asked about my health- always thought of others before her own troubles. She way so happy and full of life.
At the service yesterday it was amazing to me to see the love for this woman. Friends and family, coworkers and students- telling stories of her love and caring, funny stories and happy memories. Each of her children spoke- each cried and laughed...
Then as we left I saw her daughter completely break down. This is when I realized what a true family bond is really like. She collapsed in her dads arms- who was at his own breaking point, and cried "please don't ever leave me."
I have never had that type of relationship with my mother, that I would be in the state she was in. My family never had the bond this family has. My first thought was that I am glad I don't have that closeness- I don't want to ever feel that pain that I saw in her... But that is the way we are supposed to feel! The family bond, the relationship between a mother and her daughter- these are things that can't compare to anything, right?
My family was never really close like that. We didn't share emotions or feelings. Crying, showing love or sadness or true happiness- not things I grew up with. I have mixed feelings and opinions on that. I mean, there will be less pain when my parents do pass away, less emotions, less tears... if any. But I realize I missed out on so much!
When I was young, there were obvious differences between my mothers side of the family and my dads side. My mothers family was cold and pretty much emotionless. My dads family was once a very close and loving family, and the people in that family who I am still in contact with are still that way with their own families, but our big Smith family 'unit' is no longer.
I thought about what I would say if I spoke at each of my own parents funerals... I truly don't have any of those 'moments' with my mother. She  was for the  most part emotionless and cold. Not the mom most girls grow up with. My dad? well, everyone knows he was my best friend and mentor for years. I have a few of those 'moments', but still... nothing like what most people have.
If you have ever read "the dash", this reminds me of my dad. It isn't about the years you live, its about what you do during the time inbetween. My dad will be remembered by many with smiles and laughter. My mother? I don't know who will speak at her funeral. I can say it won't be me, and I won't be there to witness who does.
Back to my original thoughts... I feel I missed out as a child, as a young adult, and even know. My family is/was nothing like the family I am trying to have with my daughter. Nothing like the closeness my husband has with his family- altho he and his brother are not real close, mom holds the family close and cherishes every one of us. And I know how much my husband misses his dad.
I think I am lucky to live in a place where family is so important. Families stay  close. My husband has so many aunts, uncles, cousins... and most of them stay in touch! Not directly calling and getting together, but family get togethers happen a couple times a year, and everyone keeps up on each other thru social media. I love that! I feel lucky to be a part of such an incredible family! I think every family member was at the service to show their love and support for Troys cousin and his kids, no matter what! They took the time off work, they traveled from out of state- they are FAMILY defined.
McCann clan- thank you for giving me back my faith in family.