Another Christmas

Another Christmas is here... strange feelings this time around, hard to put into words. I really struggle to enjoy the holidays, normally it is a time of depression and anger for me.
But not this year. I am far from excited and joyous, but I am more at peace this year than I can remember in a very long time. Altho things in my life are very difficult right now, I am seeing the blessings in my life and the positive future shining thru. I am beyond grateful for the friends and support I have. I am still just blown away about how much my health and attitude have improved since last year. I have things to truly look forward to in the coming year. I have an incredible family! A loving and hard working husband who puts up with my insane mood swings. the most wonderful daughter anyone could ask for. Her fiance, whom I am so proud to consider a part of our family. And the adopted daughter, who is a smile in the home always. I have my dogs who I can't imagine life without, as well.
Christmas this year is again without gifts or decorations, and yes- that saddens me. I really was hoping to be able to have the holiday spirit fill my home. But it hasn't destroyed my attitude. I am thankful for the things we have, I am thankful for the family my daughter has- the other side of her family that makes a big deal of celebrating the holidays and being together to make happy memories.
I have faith that one year soon I will find the holiday spirit, and the financial stability to decorate my home and fill it with everything Christmas!
But until then, I know my family is understanding, and most importantly I am at peace with my life and this holiday. I have finally gotten past the anger and hurt, past the painful memories. This is my life and I am living it with people who matter, people who love me.
Tomorrow will be spend quietly while the kids are off with other family. Afternoon will be dinner with my mother in law. Then I will be off to spend ten days alone... my ME time housesitting for some very special people. Time to reflect, decompress, plan for the new year, and probably- blog!
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and whatever you may be celebrating this time of year.