Becoming a house wife

I was raised with the desire to work. I wanted to be independent, make my own money, and support myself. I loved to work, to keep busy and feel like I was doing something that mattered. I started babysitting pretty young, I was one of the very few girls in my area who parents trusted to watch their kids. By junior high I had a regular babysitting job- everyday after school until about 7 pm, every other Friday off. Summers I babysat three days days a week and volunteered at the hospital three days a week. I got a regular job at 16, but my parents wouldn't let me keep it when I was in school, so the following summer I got a job at McDonalds, and stayed during school... went full time three days after quitting school. I worked two and three jobs for the first few years out of school, then when I had my daughter, I had to take time off, but I got right back to work- as much as I could as a single mom. Slowly getting back to more work as I found more help with my daughter. When I went to work for my dad, There were weeks I would put in 14 hours days. When we slowed down, I worked an additional job as well as starting school. I worked the entire time I was in school. When I married my previous husband, I worked, but started working from home, so I could try to be a wife and mom, as well as bring in an income. That worked out financially FABULOUS! Working from home was a huge success for me and I was able to kind of be that house wife person, but not really because I was always so busy!

When I got out of prison, I knew it was going to be hard to find work. My degree meant nothing with that felony attached to me. So I started searching, day after day I looked for work, I was determined. I got hired on as a part time clerk at Maverik and within a couple weeks I was working more hours than my body could handle. I proved myself. I transferred and became an assistant manager, then started putting in for management spots every time one opened up. I finally got one! And I worked my butt off, I was good at what I did and proud of what I was accomplishing. Then out of the blue I lost my job. I fought with everything I had to get my job back. That failed, and I was crushed. But life goes on, I started searching for a new job. And found one fairly quick. After less than 2 months there my health started failing me, when I talked to my boss about reducing my hours to normal hours, I was being over worked and under too much stress! After a couple serious seizures at work and at home, and my employer not seeming to understand that I can't work after a seizure, I left that job. Think my health would improve with time to rest, it didn't... it was the beginning of this.

It has been over 4 1/2 years since I worked, and it is so hard for me on so many levels! Once in a while I start feeling like I am well enough to start looking for a job, then I start doing worse again. I have had about 2 years now that my health has been worse than ever before. Just the last couple weeks I have gotten a lot of answers to what some of the additional problems are, and getting treated. 

But this is me, this is my life now. It has taken me almost 5 years to accept that I will never work again, that I am now, and will be a house wife- home maker... domestic goddess! Now that I am learning to accept it, I am embracing it! I've been making Troys lunch to take to work with him, I baked a cake tonight, I've been keeping the kitchen spotless! I can do this! I am actually excited about this! We are moving into a new house, no room mates, just my family! I can be the one to take care of them, and not have to take care of others! Yes, they need me and I am going to be there for them! I will cook and clean and keep my home the way a house wife should! As long as I can maintain my health, I can be that person!

It's still hard to not be a financial contributor to my household, but I can deal with that, I contribute in other ways. I still have that desire and drive to go out and work, but I know my health must come first.

The new me. I am a housewife. And excited and proud of this job!