Therapy

Have I mentioned I started seeing a therapist? When ,y depression was at it's worse and I was feeling suicidal, I realized maybe I sould get help. So every week I go see this sweet gal and tell her how I'm feeling and the latest misery, I cry, I tell her about my anger and my heartbreak... and she listens. She helps me work on coping skills. It has been good for me. I am starting to open up about other things besides the one major cause of my depression, and she is helping me understand myself a bit. Today was a good session. lots of tears and breaking thru frustrations and anger. Next week my husband will be joining us, and I am really looking forward to that. We have some serious communication barriers and I am hopeful she can help us with that- I think it will improve a lot of things in me if I can talk to my husband more easily.
Therapy is not meant to fix me, it isn't going to cure my depression. But it is helping me. It is giving me an outlet, and teaching me better coping skills... actually- I have lost all coping skills, so this is like starting from scratch.
So I have two more weeks of this then I will probably be taking the rest of the year off because of my surgery. That will be hard, because the holidays are the hardest for me. And with everything I'm dealing with- it is going to be even worse! 
But, thru it all, I am feeling better- and I feel I can get thru things now. There was a long time that I did feel I was a danger to myself, but I don't feel that way today, and each day I seem to find more reasons to live rather than wanting to not live. I struggle every day, I cry most days... but I am alive and plan to stay that way.