17 Days

17 days. We have dreaded this for the last ten years, and hoped it wouldn't come for another ten years... but the horrific day is approaching. 17 days from now, Tuesday April 14 the man whom we sent to prison will walk out of that prison. We all have a lot of emotions about this, but the closer it gets, the more those emotions are surfacing... not the common sense emotions, but the confused ones. I have so much anger not only toward this man, but toward the system for allowing him to be freed already! Frustration over not having my own personal closure on the part of this situation that I need to deal with. 99.9% of this is about my daughter, both of them really. But there is that tiny part that is about me. The marriage, the lies, the path that my life was forced down due to him, the mental and emotional trauma he caused me, as well as everything he did to my girls.
17 days until I will be tempted to face him, to hurt him! 17 days until my daughter will be looking over her shoulder, and wondering if she will see him at the mall or at the store or McDonald's! 17 days until the people who adopted my baby will live in fear. 17 days... my husband will be experiencing stress and anxiety and tension and emotions in this house, that he won't understand or be able to help with.
I can't change what is happening, I can't stop it. All I can do is support my daughter, and focus on maintaining a stable mindset thru this next chapter. I know in my heart that everything is going to be ok, of course we will her thru this! My daughter and I are strong women, we have been thru hell together and we will make it thru this!