Mixed Emotions

Today was filled with super excitement and happiness, followed by huge sadness and tears. I'm not even sure how I feel right now, other than this- I have again failed... I failed my husband and I failed my team.

This morning I got everything run thru and approved and set up to start as a consultant for Pampered Chef. I love their products, I was given a once in a lifetime opportunity with joining the company- and I jumped on it! I know I can do well with this business, not only make money but fill my own kitchen with the products I love at a super discounted price! Yay me! 
Then my husband came home from work early... sad, upset, lost. I started questioning our choice to move here. He left everything for me, he came here because it was what was best for me. And now he isn't happy. Yeah, guilt set in- I failed him.
Just when I am trying to bring myself out of that hole- a phone call... what the hell have I done? Apparently by becoming a consultant for this company, I am in violation of the rules of promoting for the company I've been with for over 3 years. I can't do both. I have to make a choice? I am risking losing even my right to buy the products that I love and have completely changed my life! How do I make a choice like that? I made a financial investment in this new company, and I feel strongly that the financial rewards will be better than what I have done with LeVel. I am a Thriver for life and I will always support the company and recommend the products- no matter what! But I am being forced to make a choice between the two, and I hate that. Had I understood that in the beginning- things would be very different today. I feel I have let a bunch of people down... unintentionally.
Yeah, I'm kind of a mess today. But I won't give up and I won't go back. I will move forward searching for the good, finding the best in this life for my husband and I. He is still promoting Thrive, and I will back him and help him find customers as much as I can!
For now, I believe I will be voluntarily stepping down from LeVel before they remove me. Hopefully I can find a way to maintain my customer status at least. I am sorry- to my upline, to the people who believed in me and supported me, to my team- even tho we had shrunk to a very small team, they were still my team.