Depression is really difficult... yes, I suffer depression. The past few months have been up than down, but those down days still happen, and still suck! For the longest time I thought it was just something inside of me that I couldn't control, that couldn't be controlled. But lately when I have these down days I stop and think, I focus on why I am down... and what can be done to change it. Well, I'm figuring some things out on this journey to better mental and emotional health...
The worst thing to experience is being depressed- when you have every reason in the world (almost) to be happy, figuring out what the problem is- what is really causing you to be having all this emotional crap, and realizing there is nothing you can do about it. Trying to change it with no results... everything stays the same. Meaning the depression will always be there... until you pick yourself up and go about making those changes in a totally different manner. Yes, that's where I am. I have figured out what needs to be done to make these changes, but it is far from a simple process, unfortunately it cannot happen over night. So here I sit, about to break into tears for what seems to everyone around me- no reason at all. And this will continue until I have what I need to make this change.
Depression sucks. Not having people who support you or understand sucks. feeling alone sucks. One day I will find peace, and I know the depression will all but disappear! I refuse to live in a constant state of rollercoaster emotions, random tears, being misunderstood by those who care.
That is all for now, just needed to get that out.
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