You know, life is strange. I have suffered this disease for about 35 years, there have been some really bad stretches of time and some really good stretches. In the beginning I had roughly one serious seizure a month, then they dropped and became more random but less often. I was blessed to not have any serious seizures during my 15 months of incarceration... altho I did have a few very small ones. In recent years they have become more random, more often, but less severe. I have seizures almost daily- but small ones, partials, absence seizures, things that only last a minute and I don't lose consciousness. But when I do have the big ones, they seem to be more severe- and still rather random.
Last night was one of those. My husband had gone to bed, the kids were out, I was watching TV with my dogs. I don't even remember what triggered it, but as I started into it, it came on fast! No time to yell for Troy, I remember fighting to release my glasses from my hand- last time I totally destroyed my glasses. I was sitting on the sofa thinking I should try to get to the floor... but I didn't have time for that. The last thing I remember was my dog Sadie sitting in front of me on the sofa licking my face. I have no idea how long I was out, but I woke up exhausted, but not as sore as usual. I really don't have much recollection of the rest of the night between the seizure and being in bed. Both my dogs slept very close to me, they always keep me safe.
I woke up at 12:30... no idea when I had climbed into bed, but I needed more water- the dehydration that goes along with my seizures is something that can't even be matched by normal causes of being dehydrated! I slowly got up, experiencing the jello legs, overall weakness in my body, and aches that are expected, and slowly made my way to the kitchen. During that time I was out of bed, I noticed my mouth hurt... one of the most common injuries for me is biting my mouth- the inside of my lip is all messed up right now!
I also realized I have a big bump on my shin... I looked at it in the light- it's bruised and hurts! I don't normally get injuries like this, because I am usually able to make it to a place clear of furniture or other things that I could hurt myself on. But I have a wrought iron coffee table. So I am guessing I slammed my leg into it. I have had a couple serious injuries from this table in the past- a few years ago I hit my head on it.
This morning that bump on my leg has gone down a bit, altho the bruise is developing quickly! The sores in my mouth have stopped bleeding, and will take a few days to heal. I am not nearly as sore as I normally would be at this point, and altho I am tired, I am up!
That may not sound like anything to be excited about for those of you who have never experienced this... but it is a blessing. 6 months ago if I had a seizure, I would be so sore and totally exhausted for 2 to 3 days, not getting out of bed unless I absolutely had to. My muscles refused to cooperate with me, my head would throb, I had zero strength.
But since I made the decision to improve my health, to change my lifestyle with Thrive, I now recover from these horrific experiences in hours, not days.
I have always had hopes that one day this disease will leave me, but as I get older, I realize this is with me forever. I fear being old and having these seizures, when my body is not able to recover... but that is a longs ways off- and I cannot dwell on the what ifs.
This is now, and this is my life with epilepsy. I am grateful to be alive and I am grateful for the ability to overcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment