I Think I made some progress this year! I got thru the holiday with a lot of tears and no alcohol, but I really think progress has been made, and some attitude changes are taking place! I am hopeful for next year.
So December will be here in a couple hours, what a crazy month! I love it and hate it at the same time, but altho I can't make this month all my family deserves, I will do my best! I already have some holiday spirit seeping into my heart. A week from now I will be celebrating my daughter's 23rd birthday! I still see my sweet little girl, but I also see an amazing young lady that we have raised. Not just me, we. Her dad, her grandmother, her dad's second wife, Alan, there have been a number of people involved in Kayla turning out the way she has. I am a very proud mother, she truly is amazing. I just can't believe it has been 23 years! I remember every detail of the day she was born. Now she has a boyfriend living with her, she has a job and credit cards, she wears make up and worries about her outfit looking right... not that little girl anymore.
The following week~ my birthday. Then our anniversary- 7 years! Troy and I have had plenty of ups and downs, times we both have considered divorce, but we love each other and we fought thru those times. Things still are far from perfect, I don't know many couples who have a perfect marriage, but we will get thru these things... somehow, someday, we will! We love each other and want to be together. Didn't get married for the hell of it, got married because we wanted to be together for life. Our anniversary falls on Yule, the December holiday I choose to recognize.
Christmas is difficult with a family like ours. one day is set aside for Kayla to spend with her dad's family, one day with her boyfriend's family, and one day for us to spend with Troy's family. no, we don't take time for my parents. Maybe one day she will call and ask to see us. I can't afford to buy gifts, and I am not fond of receiving gifts. It kills me that my daughter doesn't get much from me with her birthday and Christmas coming up, I would give her the world if I could!
I have huge hopes for 2015! December is when I start looking to the coming year for change. Financial and health changes for all of us are my big focuses- I think they always are really. But as I look at where I have been and where I am and the road that I've been on... I don't like where things have gone but I have found the fork in the road to change it! To change a lot!
Whatever holiday you choose to recognize or celebrate this time of year...
Happy December! Happy Bodhi Day. Happy Krampusnacht. Happy Saint Lucias Day. Happy Pancha Ganapati. Happy Saturnalia. Blessed Yule. Happy Zamenhof Day. Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Chalica. Happy Sadeh. Happy Haukkah. Happy Maslenitsa. And HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!!
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