Lost friend #1

I am going to be sharing some feelings about lost friends in my next few posts, lost for a variety of reasons. Some people come into our lives for a season- they all come into our lives for a reason! But some come onto our lives and we know- we feel deep down that they are meant to be with us forever. And if for some reason that person leaves our life- we feel lost, incomplete, and a world of other emotions. So here I am with one of those people...

Remember that friend who promised to always be there, to never judge, the one who loved you for you no matter what you have done wrong in life or what your beliefs are? Yea that guy. The friend who has been there for so many ups and downs, seen you at your worst and at your best. The one you looked up to for advice and acceptance and approval... And promised he would never abandon you for any reason.
Yeah, I miss him. He truly was my best friend.
But something happened... he lied. He got upset over something I felt I had no need to apologize for. He judged my choice to have an opinion... and he left me. My heart hurts, at first I was angry- he had no right to be like that! But then after a week of not hearing from him I realized this hurt. It's been years since I've gone a week not hearing from him! Then it was a month... I was still angry, but more hurt. I got a 3 word text the morning of my surgery... if it mattered, he would have been there- or come see me after. I was still angry, and even more hurt. Then my birthday- the big birthday. Then Christmas- he knows how I hate the holidays and struggle thru them... nothing. I shouldn't be so bothered, I mean- friends come and go. But this was more than a friend, he was like a soulmate kind of friend- I could tell him anything, ask him anything, he got me! And I loved him... and still do. I feel incomplete without him, if that makes sense. No, he isn't someone I think of as a love interest- I have my husband and I am very happy. But this man has been a big part of my life for a long time, longer than I have been married! Something is missing from my life, and it is him. I miss you.