Merry Christmas!

I have struggled with Christmas over the years~ loved it as a kid, not so much in my teens. Then I had my little girl and Christmas was fun again. She grew up, learned Santa wasn't real- and I let the spirit in me die again. Then my two Christmases in prison really made it hard for me. I lost an uncle on Christmas day one year, money issues have always made me not so merry.
But this year... no, I didn't have the money to spend, and I still have a lot of those negative memories... but I found my holiday spirit! I have realized there is no reason I can't change my attitude and truly enjoy Christmas time.
I pulled some friends together to pay it forward and give a little girl I don't know a good Christmas- that was the start of it all! to see the smiles and tears on that moms face, and to feel the true appreciation from the family. I send Christmas cards, over 50 of them! I talked my husband into driving downtown to see the lights, I have always loved this time of year- why not show it?
Last night we went to my mom in laws for dinner and gift exchange, I realized this is my family, this is who matters in my life. Why do I torture myself over losing my 'real' family when this is all I really need? We had Kayla and Dallon with us, it was perfect.
I always tell myself, and others, that I do my best to leave the past in the past... but in reality- it hangs over my shoulder trying to destroy every day of my life. Not any more! I see how MY past has affected my family, not only myself. I won't do this anymore. Time to turn over a new leaf! Next Christmas will be amazing at the McCann house! And there will be no regrets!
Merry Christmas to all of you! Merry Christmas to all my friends and family, to all our military and veterans, Merry Christmas to those who have no one, or no place to go. Merry Christmas to everyone!