Death Pretty Much Sucks

So much death surrounding these holidays. Two days ago my ex husband, who I am still very good friends with, lost his wife to brain cancer. She was a breast cancer survivor and just a few months ago developed aggressive brain cancer that spread thru other parts of her body. Johnna leaves behind her loving husband and mother and two kids- Morgan who is in her last year of high school, and Van who is only 7. Then today, just less than an hour ago, one of our Gold Star sisters, lost the love of her life, her husband to a rare form of leukemia. Houston fought so hard and was so very strong. They had no children, but so many close family and friends. I can't imagine what she is going thru... first she loses her brother in the war, then her husband to cancer- I have to say she is one amazing woman to hold it together as well as she has.
Two friends have recently lost their mothers to age related deaths. This doesn't make it any easier to accept. Wonderful, loved people who lived a full life... they have been a part of the kids and grand kids lives for their lifetime, and now gone. It is all a expected, but not easy. I dread the day I get a call about my father.
Another friend of mine lost her dad a few weeks ago, and after a conversation I had with her last night- I am a little freaked out. Her parents had been married 49 years, same as mine. Her dad committed suicide. My first thought when I heard this, what in the world does a man of that age have to be that upset about to feel death is the option? Then I learned last night this was not his first try. As we talked about her parents I heard my own voice echoing in hers, our mothers are like the same person, her mother has driven her away just like mine has. She is a control freak just like mine. Her dad was that unhappy with his life and in his marriage, that he felt death was the only way out. This is so very sad, but I understand to some point. At that age, he was probably a believer in 'til death do us part,' not divorce. I bet he loved her, just didn't like her. I know my dad loves my mother, but I also don't think he is happy. Years ago he cheated on her and the separated... I prayed for a divorce! And I was barely a teenager at that time! I learned tonight that my dad is now volunteering at a hospice center- talking to people who have days or even hours left. Very wonderful thing he does, but my first thought was he would rather talk to strangers who are about to die, than spend time with his wife... how pathetic is that?! Do I think he would choose death over more time with her? I doubt it. But I'm sure that is what my friend thought of her dad as well. 
My heart aches for my friends who are feeling the pain of their losses. And I pray for peace and acceptance for them.
Cancer is an evil disease that has taken too many people from my life as well as from the lives of people I care about. I am grateful for the treatment and survival of many tho. Suicide is something not enough people understand. People are suffering, not just looking for an easy way out.
To any of you dealing with a loss right now~ love and light to you all. If you are contemplating suicide~ please talk to someone, find a different option.