What Next?

First I was struggling with my chronic pain, then that got worse. Then came the depression... and that got worse than you can even imagine. then the suggestion of kidney problems? Then the pain (fibromyalgia, I'm pretty sure) got worse. As I battle the physical pain, it just makes the emotional pain worse- making the suicidal thoughts stronger. 
So I scream to the gods begging to just take me, end my misery. And what happens? I start having symptoms of a stroke- like really- by the end of that day I was unable to talk, or walk without help, I woke the next day not remembering a thing about the prior day.
Really? Why just a mini stroke? For real- why wasn't it a major stroke that would just take me? Oh that's right- I keep saying I have things to take care of, to get in order before I die. Maybe if I do those things I can have my wish.
So a few days ago I started noticing a strange pain, pretty much ignored it because my entire body hurts all the time. But the pain got a little worse each day, keeping me awake at night because most positions I lay in caused more pain. Last night I laid in bed awake all night. Trying to find a way to be comfortable... but just ending up in tears.By the time I gave up on sleep and crawled out of bed today, I could not move or breathe without pain. WTF is wrong with me?
So I called to get an appointment with my doctor... They wanted to see me today. Is it that serious? Nothing about what it could be- just an immediate appointment (tomorrow) and probable tests.
I'm over all this! I want to be ok again- completely ok! if not, I wish I could just die and be out of all the pain! Maybe I'll get hit by a car tomorrow on my way to the doctor and none of it will matter anymore. Really, just how much is a person supposed to be able to take?
I guess on the plus side I haven't heard back on the results of my kidney tests, so that's good news, i guess?