I am not yet fully recovered from surgery, so annoying! I m feeling better but there is still stuff I can't do, pain with some movements, bleeding STILL! I just want to back to normal! I am not a patient person!
It finally snowed today! And still is! not much on the ground, but it's a start! I want a white Christmas. And at least the air is cleaner to breathe now.
I'm fighting to keep somewhat of a holiday spirit this year. It's hard, but I need to. Looking at our tree with all the decorations the kids hung- puts a smile on my face, but also a tear in my heart. Not quite sure how to do this year... but I will.
I'm not big on new years resolutions and a new year new me thing- I figure if I want change and a different life just make it happen- NOW! why wait til next year? well, this year I'm doing it. It is time for change in my life, I will be a different person, I will be in charge of my own happiness and my surroundings. If I don't like something- I will either change it or remove it from my life. the past few months i have allowed too many outside influences effect me and my happiness and attitude, and it has done some serious damage. But also has been very eye opening. My life is a learning experience- and I have learned much this year.
I feel like it seems everything I say about the past year is focused on changes that took place in my home... not true. 15 months ago I moved some amazing people into my home and that did change my life. We have had many ups and downs- mostly ups! But my life has been affected by many other things, other things are what cause my depression, not them. Other things are what have brought me to become cold- not them. Most has been the past 9 or 10 months. Both positive and negative have happened, both have been eye opening.
I am hopeful for my future. A lot of disagreement and I am sure opposition to what I want for my future- but we will see.
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