It's July already! This year is flying by- this summer is flying by.
The past week has been hell, actually the entire year has been emotionally rough, but it all exploded this past week. And not only that, but the people who have helped hold me together this year are out of town and I've had no one to really turn to. They will be home in a matter of hours! They are my family, the people I love and who love me, the people who support me and don't judge me, and see me for what I am- not for what they want to see in me.
My depression has been terrible, as I said in my last posting- Im not suicidal, I just don't want to live... well, I feel a little better now, altho I am still struggling with the events of the past week and how to cope. I am finding ways...
I started reading, my craft books. Spells, potions, my beliefs. The more I read, the more I started feeling my passion re-emerging. Today I went to Crone's Hollow- my 'supply' store. I had a very nice talk with Katheryn and realized I still have so much to learn and relearn! I'm pretty sure if I had followed thru with what I wanted to do without talking to her- I might have destroyed a city. But I am going to get back to my craft, I will start doing spells and ritual, meditation... I need the Goddess in my life for peace and serenity. There has been much anger- which I haven't experienced in a very long time. I need to clear my mind and body of these negative emotions and energy.
I am beginning a new job this month, super excited for that. The past month has been rough not having an income, but I know it is worth it. I love working, and this company is a great company to work with- employee discounts and other benefits!
Thrive's new weight management product comes out for good this month- this week! I am so very excited to start that and get back to a weight that I am ok with! I love what my Thrive products have done for me, altho I'm struggling to pay for it every month right now- especially the Plus line products that I really like. But I know with this new product, I will have more customers jumping on board. I also plan to really get more active with promoting and selling this amazing product! It has been so life changing for me, and I want others to experience those benefits as well!
I am doing my best to shut off a lot of emotions and feelings, I cannot allow myself to be hurt any further. But it is so very hard when I have to shut off the only purpose I have had for so long. I feel I need to protect myself from the only thing that has brought joy to my life. Crazy!
I've made the decision to seek help for the depression. This is a very hard thing to admit. I don't like admitting to myself or especially to others that I have a problem, but I do, and I need to fix it before it totally consumes and destroys me.
So second half of the year- positive thoughts and positive actions!
No comments:
Post a Comment