Second Chances

Troy and I went to lunch with my parents today. The second time since we started speaking again.
I went over 5 years without talking to my parents, we had struggles to say the least. I saw them at my daughters wedding a year ago and realized how much I truly miss them and want them back in my life. So a few months ago I sent an email... which turned into a number of angry emails between us, but eventually came to somewhat of an agreement- leave the past in the past and move forward from today building a new relationship.
Our first lunch meeting was a bit awkward, but went well. With each email I see more of not necessarily their side of things- but more of a parent perspective... possibly in part because of having my own adult child and the struggles we are currently facing.
Todays lunch was much better than the first! More relaxed, more fun. Today I saw my parents as the people I loved and had fun with when I was young, I saw them as two people who are truly in love, I saw them as the people I wish I could have always seen them as. My dad and his eye rolls, the two of them not really bickering but sort of in a silly way- the same argument they have had for years! 
I remember in one of the emails months ago my dad had referred to my mom as 'the love of my life.'  I never, in my life, saw it that way. They had their struggles- but worked thru them, I always saw them as comfortable and settled in, not in love like that. Today, I saw it- and I felt it. My parents really are still in love with each other... over 50 years of marriage! And they are cute and silly and are going to grow old together being that way. I can only hope when I am close to 80 I will have what they do.
I am so very grateful to have this second chance at having my parents in my life, at being a part of their life, to see them as I never saw them before- or wanted to see them. I am sad that we missed out on 5 years of each others lives- the happy moments, the hard times, everything. But I believe that everything happens for a reason- and I believe that this 'break' was needed for us to be able to move forward. I have grown a lot and changed very much. I view relationships of all kinds differently now than I did a few years ago. I will never take advantage of a positive influence in my life again... my parents were good parents, I was raised well. Once I became an adult is when our relationship started crumbling- and that, I now see, was largely my doing. I made the decisions, I saw them in a negative way, i acted out rather than talking.
These are my parents. They gave me life, they gave me values, they taught me discipline and how to be a good person. They took care of me- fed me, kept a roof over my head, gave me memories and experiences I will always have. 
My parents are getting older, they won't be around forever. They are very healthy, and don't look their age, but I know they can't live forever. I am so very lucky to have them back in my life for these last years- whether its 5 or 20 years, I can share them.
If any of you reading this are estranged from your family- please, take it from someone who has been there... do whatever you have to in order to repair that bridge! Don't let someone die before telling them that you really do love them. Swallow your pride, whether it was your fault or theirs, reach out and fix it!
Today really has been my happiest day in quite a while. And I am proud to say I love my parents!