When I started blogging, it was my plan to help people thru my stories and experiences. I still do this, but it has turned into more of just a personal thoughts page, a place to clear my mind. But last night I was given a reminder.
I had posted something about my seizures on my Facebook page, a friend commented and we took it to a private chat for quite a long time. Her sister in law just this week, had her first ever seizure- in her mid 30s. She is lost and confused and scared, as is the entire family! I did what I could to give some advice for the family, as well as the sister in law.
I have lived with epilepsy for over 30 years. My family and friends have lived with it, they have had to learn what to do, how to react. My daughter has been at my side since she was born experiencing all of it with me. I have experienced various types of seizures, ranging from grand mal that put me unconscious followed by 3 day recovery time, to 10 second absence seizures that most people don't even notice I have! I have had periods of my life where I had monthly seizures, I've had periods where I have gone up to years with none! and the past couple years, I was having so many each day I lost count. I had a stroke caused by a seizure, I've had many injuries caused by falling, hitting furniture, etc.
So why don't I talk about it more? Why don't I use my experiences with this disease to help others who are trying to deal with it?
I have opened up and talked about prison and abuse and some health issues, but my epilepsy seems difficult for me to talk about. But chatting with Chelsea last night was an ah-ha moment for me! She was truly appreciative of me talking to her, and offering to talk to her brother and sister in law! I've never really felt that... need, from anyone when it came to this part of my life. I have always felt my condition, or disease, or whatever people choose to call it, was a burden on others- so who would really want to hear about it?
Really, I so often feel like I am a burden. I no longer drive, so I have to find a ride anywhere I want to go. I don't even walk places by myself, my daughter worries about me more than anyone! She hates to even leave me home alone.
I started this over a week ago, my tablet froze up, and I was unable to finish! Now I don't remember what all I was wanting to say... so I will just wrap it up with this...
I share my experiences, I reach out to others who are struggling, in hopes I can make a difference. If I am not willing to help others, what is the purpose of my struggles?
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