Frustration

So we got into the new house... But I have hardly done any unpacking yet! I have boxes everywhere, can't find things, and worst of all- I can't cook! As I clean, I find more that needs to be cleaned, as I put things away, I find more that needs to be cleaned. The land lady said she had a cleaning crew in here... I should have taken pictures of the filth for her to have when she refuses to pay the cleaners! I have scrubbed and scrubbed and have more scrubbing to do! 
I was so excited that I had finally found my pots and pans and could cook for my family- first time in over a week! As I begin to fix dinner, I realize we only have one large burner on the stove... and it doesn't work! So I move my large pan to a small burner and realize the burner is filthy. I take off the burner to scrub it and notice under the stovetop... make me ill just to look at it! I put my planned dinner in the fridge and took my family to dinner! I cleaned the stove for about an hour after we got home... wondering if there is any point! If the only burner I use doesn't work, and over an hour of cleaning can't get it even close to clean- maybe I can talk them into a new stove! Keeping my fingers crossed for that! Land lady is out of town and unreachable until Tuesday, but I will be seeing the handy man probably tomorrow... as I have a couple things that need to be fixed. Yes, that is another issue I am finding as I clean and unpack- broken or failing cabinets and drawers. Frustrated!
Then to add to my frustration I feel like I am the only person doing any of this. Troy is at work all day, Kayla is trying to get downstairs taken care of, Dallon works and helps Kayla downstairs... so that leaves me to deal with this all. And all I hear is where is this, I can't find that, this needs to get done, this is such a mess... it seriously makes me want to cry and tell everyone to do it themselves! I am doing the best I can! I'm doing it alone, not in the best of health, in conditions way worse than expected. I feel guilty for needing to rest or nap, I feel guilty for even sitting when I see so much that needs to be done!
I know, I am the one who is always home, no job, the one expected to do the house work. But this is more than house work, it was the family moving, the family should be doing this, at least some of it!
I should be so happy right now, but I'm not... I am frustrated and irritated, sad and feeling guilty and like I'm failing my family. Yes, I am happy to be in our own home, away from the stress and tension and feeling like I had to live up to someone elses expectations. Away from room mates and sociopathic pregnant chicks who my family was afraid of. In a place where my dogs can play and bark and I don't have to keep them quiet.
I miss having a clean and sanitary kitchen, but I have to keep a positive attitude! Things will all come together and I will be ok. Just stressed and frustrated and having some anxiety over all this.
When I owned a cleaning company I knew the basics, I knew the standard that was expected... and I really thought maybe this cleaning crew was just a bunch of slackers. No, they didn't do a thing- I'd be surprised if they even came in the house! I would have fired people like that.
I am seriously expecting another couple weeks before I am all done and can settle down and be comfortable and relax and not see boxes everywhere I look! That frustrates me too... I like to be able to get moved and unpacked within a week!
Well, sorry for the negativity tonight, just down about all this.
On the positive side, I have gotten a lot done! We have bought some shelves and rugs, we got a snow shovel and rake. I am slowly figuring out where things can fit and what works best for the things I have been able to put away. And I am getting boxes in the proper rooms. Yes, there is quite a bit of progress, I need to focus more on that than what happened today. 
The dogs are now familiar with the house and yard, altho they are still exploring every inch of the yard, and the cats seems to be doing a lot better. The house has a lot of new sounds the animals are not familiar with, but they will learn. We live on a major road, so there is a lot of noise from the street that gets the dogs riled up, and more people walking and riding bikes, hopefully this will help the dogs get used to people and they won't bark as much every time someone goes by! But for now, there is a lot more barking! But I know I am safe with my dogs barking at strangers! And that makes me happy!
Just a reminder... October is breast cancer awareness month~ I have lost an aunt to breast cancer, I have one friend who is getting close to a year cancer free, one friend who recently started treatment, and someone who means a lot to me has a wife who survived breast cancer 4 years ago, and is now battling brain cancer. Please get checked or have your loved ones checked. If it is caught early, it can be treated!
Two weeks til Halloween, or Samhain for those of us who celebrate the pagan holidays. I am excited for both! Due to moving, I was not able to decorate this year, but next year will be incredible! I do have a costume of course- a new witch every year! I hope to get pics done this year like I did two years ago!
Have a blessed day or night or where ever you may be on the clock!