So we got into the new house... But I have hardly done any unpacking yet! I have boxes everywhere, can't find things, and worst of all- I can't cook! As I clean, I find more that needs to be cleaned, as I put things away, I find more that needs to be cleaned. The land lady said she had a cleaning crew in here... I should have taken pictures of the filth for her to have when she refuses to pay the cleaners! I have scrubbed and scrubbed and have more scrubbing to do!
I was so excited that I had finally found my pots and pans and could cook for my family- first time in over a week! As I begin to fix dinner, I realize we only have one large burner on the stove... and it doesn't work! So I move my large pan to a small burner and realize the burner is filthy. I take off the burner to scrub it and notice under the stovetop... make me ill just to look at it! I put my planned dinner in the fridge and took my family to dinner! I cleaned the stove for about an hour after we got home... wondering if there is any point! If the only burner I use doesn't work, and over an hour of cleaning can't get it even close to clean- maybe I can talk them into a new stove! Keeping my fingers crossed for that! Land lady is out of town and unreachable until Tuesday, but I will be seeing the handy man probably tomorrow... as I have a couple things that need to be fixed. Yes, that is another issue I am finding as I clean and unpack- broken or failing cabinets and drawers. Frustrated!
Then to add to my frustration I feel like I am the only person doing any of this. Troy is at work all day, Kayla is trying to get downstairs taken care of, Dallon works and helps Kayla downstairs... so that leaves me to deal with this all. And all I hear is where is this, I can't find that, this needs to get done, this is such a mess... it seriously makes me want to cry and tell everyone to do it themselves! I am doing the best I can! I'm doing it alone, not in the best of health, in conditions way worse than expected. I feel guilty for needing to rest or nap, I feel guilty for even sitting when I see so much that needs to be done!
I know, I am the one who is always home, no job, the one expected to do the house work. But this is more than house work, it was the family moving, the family should be doing this, at least some of it!
I should be so happy right now, but I'm not... I am frustrated and irritated, sad and feeling guilty and like I'm failing my family. Yes, I am happy to be in our own home, away from the stress and tension and feeling like I had to live up to someone elses expectations. Away from room mates and sociopathic pregnant chicks who my family was afraid of. In a place where my dogs can play and bark and I don't have to keep them quiet.
I miss having a clean and sanitary kitchen, but I have to keep a positive attitude! Things will all come together and I will be ok. Just stressed and frustrated and having some anxiety over all this.
When I owned a cleaning company I knew the basics, I knew the standard that was expected... and I really thought maybe this cleaning crew was just a bunch of slackers. No, they didn't do a thing- I'd be surprised if they even came in the house! I would have fired people like that.
I am seriously expecting another couple weeks before I am all done and can settle down and be comfortable and relax and not see boxes everywhere I look! That frustrates me too... I like to be able to get moved and unpacked within a week!
Well, sorry for the negativity tonight, just down about all this.
On the positive side, I have gotten a lot done! We have bought some shelves and rugs, we got a snow shovel and rake. I am slowly figuring out where things can fit and what works best for the things I have been able to put away. And I am getting boxes in the proper rooms. Yes, there is quite a bit of progress, I need to focus more on that than what happened today.
The dogs are now familiar with the house and yard, altho they are still exploring every inch of the yard, and the cats seems to be doing a lot better. The house has a lot of new sounds the animals are not familiar with, but they will learn. We live on a major road, so there is a lot of noise from the street that gets the dogs riled up, and more people walking and riding bikes, hopefully this will help the dogs get used to people and they won't bark as much every time someone goes by! But for now, there is a lot more barking! But I know I am safe with my dogs barking at strangers! And that makes me happy!
Just a reminder... October is breast cancer awareness month~ I have lost an aunt to breast cancer, I have one friend who is getting close to a year cancer free, one friend who recently started treatment, and someone who means a lot to me has a wife who survived breast cancer 4 years ago, and is now battling brain cancer. Please get checked or have your loved ones checked. If it is caught early, it can be treated!
Two weeks til Halloween, or Samhain for those of us who celebrate the pagan holidays. I am excited for both! Due to moving, I was not able to decorate this year, but next year will be incredible! I do have a costume of course- a new witch every year! I hope to get pics done this year like I did two years ago!
Have a blessed day or night or where ever you may be on the clock!
My Love
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
Home!
We are in the new house! I don't have pictures yet, but I will! What an amazing feeling to finally have our own space! The place is a disaster, of course, but it is ours and only ours. We had incredible help getting moved and were pretty much done by 2 in the afternoon Saturday. Troy's back survived, but Kayla's ankle didn't. had to call her doctor today for that. And my knee didn't! It started bothering me while we were loading up, and just into unloading here- it blew and I was done doing anything! By the time I went to bed totally exhausted, I was in too much pain to even sleep. I iced it, I even took Ibuprofen- which I never do! Sunday I stayed off it, used crutches when we ran some errands. And by last night I could finally walk on it a little. Today it was much better!
Kayla and I have actually gotten a lot of unpacking done, but you can hardly tell! The space we have for kitchen and bath type storage is less than half what we had before... so we need to find ways to make room for a lot of things! And cleaning? Oh My Goddess! Our land lady actually paid someone to do... nothing! Kayla and I have done more cleaning, basic stuff that residential cleaners would normally do, than we have unpacking! And I have more cleaning to do before I can finish unpacking. Very frustrating! Even when the land lady came by Saturday she was furious about the cleaning. The previous tenants were refugees and didn't keep house very well, that along with the painters and the pest control (yes, the previous tenants had roaches), I have to clean everything! The cleaners honestly I don't think touched a thing! I used to do that for a living, I know what is expected and what is acceptable in a rental. And the condition of this place- not acceptable at all! I feel like telling my land lady I want to be paid for the time I am putting in cleaning!
The cats are struggling to adjust, but doing better than they were the first night! My dogs are curious of everything! New smells, new sounds, new layout. We have tile thru most of the upstairs other than the bedrooms, so the sounds are much different! They are still exploring the yard every time they go outside. They love that there are apples all over the ground! They both have stayed very close to me, unsure I think. At least they have the sofa and the bed and a few familiar things!
We met our next door neighbor as we were moving in. Wonderful lady named Sue. She was super friendly, even brought us a bundt cake when she returned from the store! As she was leaving she said "thank you lord for giving me normal neighbors!" And I was thinking... normal? I have rainbow hair and she is calling me normal? As we talked I found I am really going to enjoy her, and her husband- who I have yet to meet. She and her husband both have Harleys and love to ride, they have lived here over 25 years, she is so sweet, and I could probably spend all day talking with her!
I am hoping to live here a while, five years? There is a lot of work to do, improvements that can be made, but it is home! And the more fixing and improving we do, the more homey it will feel! I have a really good feeling about this place, and about my family finally being able to be ourselves! I can't wait to have more visitors and be as loud as we want and do what we want! And just relax. There is zero tension, no bad energy. I did a blessing on the house before anyone started moving things in, the broom has yet to be hung, but it is near the door. I started to set up my altar today, but realized some of my items had been packed in a different box. We have the living room mostly set up, the bedrooms for the most part. the three spare rooms are a disaster and my dining table is hidden by boxes... on it and around it!
All that matters is that we are here and together. The rest will come together.
We are home.
Kayla and I have actually gotten a lot of unpacking done, but you can hardly tell! The space we have for kitchen and bath type storage is less than half what we had before... so we need to find ways to make room for a lot of things! And cleaning? Oh My Goddess! Our land lady actually paid someone to do... nothing! Kayla and I have done more cleaning, basic stuff that residential cleaners would normally do, than we have unpacking! And I have more cleaning to do before I can finish unpacking. Very frustrating! Even when the land lady came by Saturday she was furious about the cleaning. The previous tenants were refugees and didn't keep house very well, that along with the painters and the pest control (yes, the previous tenants had roaches), I have to clean everything! The cleaners honestly I don't think touched a thing! I used to do that for a living, I know what is expected and what is acceptable in a rental. And the condition of this place- not acceptable at all! I feel like telling my land lady I want to be paid for the time I am putting in cleaning!
The cats are struggling to adjust, but doing better than they were the first night! My dogs are curious of everything! New smells, new sounds, new layout. We have tile thru most of the upstairs other than the bedrooms, so the sounds are much different! They are still exploring the yard every time they go outside. They love that there are apples all over the ground! They both have stayed very close to me, unsure I think. At least they have the sofa and the bed and a few familiar things!
We met our next door neighbor as we were moving in. Wonderful lady named Sue. She was super friendly, even brought us a bundt cake when she returned from the store! As she was leaving she said "thank you lord for giving me normal neighbors!" And I was thinking... normal? I have rainbow hair and she is calling me normal? As we talked I found I am really going to enjoy her, and her husband- who I have yet to meet. She and her husband both have Harleys and love to ride, they have lived here over 25 years, she is so sweet, and I could probably spend all day talking with her!
I am hoping to live here a while, five years? There is a lot of work to do, improvements that can be made, but it is home! And the more fixing and improving we do, the more homey it will feel! I have a really good feeling about this place, and about my family finally being able to be ourselves! I can't wait to have more visitors and be as loud as we want and do what we want! And just relax. There is zero tension, no bad energy. I did a blessing on the house before anyone started moving things in, the broom has yet to be hung, but it is near the door. I started to set up my altar today, but realized some of my items had been packed in a different box. We have the living room mostly set up, the bedrooms for the most part. the three spare rooms are a disaster and my dining table is hidden by boxes... on it and around it!
All that matters is that we are here and together. The rest will come together.
We are home.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Couple Things On My Mind
A couple things to write about tonight, so bear with me.
First- Things are perfectly falling into place for our move! Packing is moving along well, a plan to get things in the garage Friday to make things go smoother Saturday. Did I mention Troy's work is letting him take a big truck with a lift gate to help with the move! All the utilities are taken care of, we will pay the rent and get the keys on Friday! I am stoked! Things are staying peaceful here and the friendship with Cory is being maintained, which is really important to me! The house was finished today, I believe... Carpet cleaners were there. I have plenty more packing to do, but really, we are about there! My only concern is having enough muscle help to do this move. Troy has a bad back, I am not the healthiest, a number of our friends have back or shoulder trouble... yes, we are getting old! And moving day is the same day as the service for one of our PGR members who passed last week, and the breast cancer walk is that day as well! Really thankful for the people I know will be here!
We have had a couple people mention they would like to rent a room from us... currently our only answer is NO! We are really in need of our own space, uninterrupted space! MAYBE after a few months, if we really need the financial help, we might consider it, but not at this point.
Secondly- just a short rant about the idiots battling the gay marriage issue! Whether a person feels it is right or wrong, the law has spoken... yet government offices are still denying these people their rights! A gay friend who married for that short couple of days back in December, attempted today to get his name legally changed with social security. They refused! This was not his first attempt, but because of the ruling this week, he chose to try again. He called the governors office and was told his marriage license was made invalid after the marriage ban was put back into effect- is that even legal? The county clerks office did not know of the governors statement until this friend called them, they were not happy about it! This friend is rightfully on a rampage! He has contacted the main SS office, national news media, and will be on our local news in about 20 minutes! He is standing up for what so many people in this country will be running into... and he refuses to stop until he is behind bars or has what he wants! And I stand behind him 100%! Not a lot of LGBT couples change their name when they wed, but they should be able to if they choose to! This isn't about gay rights anymore, they have been given the right to marry... it's just about jerk politicians! Also on this subject, 2 of the five states who had their appeal shot down to ban marriage equality, have chosen to ignore that ruling! The governors are openly ignoring it... is this contempt? Can they serve time for that? The one governor said this is not a federal issue, it is a state by state issue, therefor he will not follow the ruling. My thought on this- isn't HE the one who made it a federal issue by taking it to federal appeals court? I am so fed up with politicians, especially politicians who drag religion into politics! And this really shouldn't even be a political issue!
Last, I think, I am happy to report that I have been feeling much better the past couple days! I am sure it won't be permanent, but I hope it lasts thru the move and organizing the new house! However, I have a couple friends, people I care very much about, who are not doing well. And it hurts to see them sick and hurting. I would rather be sick like I was for the rest of my life than to see my loved one suffering like they are. I know I can't fix it, I can't take away their suffering, but I include them in my daily rituals and prayers.
2 days 7 hours 4 minutes until we have the moving truck!
)O( BLESSED BE
First- Things are perfectly falling into place for our move! Packing is moving along well, a plan to get things in the garage Friday to make things go smoother Saturday. Did I mention Troy's work is letting him take a big truck with a lift gate to help with the move! All the utilities are taken care of, we will pay the rent and get the keys on Friday! I am stoked! Things are staying peaceful here and the friendship with Cory is being maintained, which is really important to me! The house was finished today, I believe... Carpet cleaners were there. I have plenty more packing to do, but really, we are about there! My only concern is having enough muscle help to do this move. Troy has a bad back, I am not the healthiest, a number of our friends have back or shoulder trouble... yes, we are getting old! And moving day is the same day as the service for one of our PGR members who passed last week, and the breast cancer walk is that day as well! Really thankful for the people I know will be here!
We have had a couple people mention they would like to rent a room from us... currently our only answer is NO! We are really in need of our own space, uninterrupted space! MAYBE after a few months, if we really need the financial help, we might consider it, but not at this point.
Secondly- just a short rant about the idiots battling the gay marriage issue! Whether a person feels it is right or wrong, the law has spoken... yet government offices are still denying these people their rights! A gay friend who married for that short couple of days back in December, attempted today to get his name legally changed with social security. They refused! This was not his first attempt, but because of the ruling this week, he chose to try again. He called the governors office and was told his marriage license was made invalid after the marriage ban was put back into effect- is that even legal? The county clerks office did not know of the governors statement until this friend called them, they were not happy about it! This friend is rightfully on a rampage! He has contacted the main SS office, national news media, and will be on our local news in about 20 minutes! He is standing up for what so many people in this country will be running into... and he refuses to stop until he is behind bars or has what he wants! And I stand behind him 100%! Not a lot of LGBT couples change their name when they wed, but they should be able to if they choose to! This isn't about gay rights anymore, they have been given the right to marry... it's just about jerk politicians! Also on this subject, 2 of the five states who had their appeal shot down to ban marriage equality, have chosen to ignore that ruling! The governors are openly ignoring it... is this contempt? Can they serve time for that? The one governor said this is not a federal issue, it is a state by state issue, therefor he will not follow the ruling. My thought on this- isn't HE the one who made it a federal issue by taking it to federal appeals court? I am so fed up with politicians, especially politicians who drag religion into politics! And this really shouldn't even be a political issue!
Last, I think, I am happy to report that I have been feeling much better the past couple days! I am sure it won't be permanent, but I hope it lasts thru the move and organizing the new house! However, I have a couple friends, people I care very much about, who are not doing well. And it hurts to see them sick and hurting. I would rather be sick like I was for the rest of my life than to see my loved one suffering like they are. I know I can't fix it, I can't take away their suffering, but I include them in my daily rituals and prayers.
2 days 7 hours 4 minutes until we have the moving truck!
)O( BLESSED BE
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
It's Life
I recently joined a support page on Facebook for people with epilepsy. For the most part it has been a wonderful group! Supportive people who understand each other, informative, and really nice to just be able to chat about our day to day lives and how we managed to get where we are now with this disease.
Then every once in a while a person pops in with a whiny poor me attitude. Really? We have all been there! Your situation isn't any more sad than mine! Change your attitude and don't bring the rest of the group down! We are there for support, but this last gal was totally just sounding suicidal and looking for pity. Honestly, I feel that if a person thinks their life is so miserable they would rather be dead- then do it. Cold hearted? maybe, But I don't have time for that crap. She thinks she is so bad off because her seizures, she can't work, she has no social life... whah! At least she has her mother there to help her thru seizures, at least she has a warm bed at night and food and meds! There are so many homeless people with serious illnesses who don't have anyone, no roof over their head, no 3 meals a day, no meds to help treat the problems. Do they complain constantly? People are so greedy! Be thankful for what you do have! I have been thru hell and back, all while dealing with this diesease... yes, I get a little down at times about ways my life has been affected, but I don't dwell on it and tell myself I'd be better off dead! I have so much to live for! There are people out there with much bigger problems than just epilepsy, and I see them making the most of every minute they have! That is how I want to be remembered! I don't want people to say "oh she was so depressed over her illness, she had no quality of life." That isn't who I am.
This is life, no one has it pain free. Everyone has something to deal with... a chronic illness, blindness, amputee, thousands of things out there! And some people deal with multiple problems. I have a dear friend who has a glass eye, hearing in only one ear, walks with 2 canes due to massive injuries to his legs and body, he doesn't have a functional bladder, the list of his "problems" is endless! And even with all that, he has a huge smile on his face every day, has amazing words of wisdom to give, he rock climbs, has a special bicycle built for him, has gone paragliding... he makes a point to attend every event he can. Feel sorry for himself? Hell no!
This is life. Make it what you want- it is your choice. Do not allow your illnesses to control you... you control your illness!
LOVE & LIGHT
Then every once in a while a person pops in with a whiny poor me attitude. Really? We have all been there! Your situation isn't any more sad than mine! Change your attitude and don't bring the rest of the group down! We are there for support, but this last gal was totally just sounding suicidal and looking for pity. Honestly, I feel that if a person thinks their life is so miserable they would rather be dead- then do it. Cold hearted? maybe, But I don't have time for that crap. She thinks she is so bad off because her seizures, she can't work, she has no social life... whah! At least she has her mother there to help her thru seizures, at least she has a warm bed at night and food and meds! There are so many homeless people with serious illnesses who don't have anyone, no roof over their head, no 3 meals a day, no meds to help treat the problems. Do they complain constantly? People are so greedy! Be thankful for what you do have! I have been thru hell and back, all while dealing with this diesease... yes, I get a little down at times about ways my life has been affected, but I don't dwell on it and tell myself I'd be better off dead! I have so much to live for! There are people out there with much bigger problems than just epilepsy, and I see them making the most of every minute they have! That is how I want to be remembered! I don't want people to say "oh she was so depressed over her illness, she had no quality of life." That isn't who I am.
This is life, no one has it pain free. Everyone has something to deal with... a chronic illness, blindness, amputee, thousands of things out there! And some people deal with multiple problems. I have a dear friend who has a glass eye, hearing in only one ear, walks with 2 canes due to massive injuries to his legs and body, he doesn't have a functional bladder, the list of his "problems" is endless! And even with all that, he has a huge smile on his face every day, has amazing words of wisdom to give, he rock climbs, has a special bicycle built for him, has gone paragliding... he makes a point to attend every event he can. Feel sorry for himself? Hell no!
This is life. Make it what you want- it is your choice. Do not allow your illnesses to control you... you control your illness!
LOVE & LIGHT
Monday, October 6, 2014
Getting Past The Past
I do my best to live in the now, and keep the past in the past. Sometimes this is easier said than done. The past has made me who I am, the past has memories that can't be forgotten, people who won't be forgotten, and experiences that shouldn't be forgotten. My 'life after the past' must include the past for it to be the life it is now.
Once in a while I am reminded of some of these things... I see someone I grew up with, I am reminded of a vacation I went on with my family, or something comes up in conversation about something I have been thru personally. I can't just pretend those things never happened, I want my experiences to be a part of who I am, and how I can help people.
I was reminded recently of the domestic violence I experienced at the hand of my first husband- I had to speak out and show my understanding and support for this woman when everyone else criticized her choices.
I have had a couple things come up- one on both sides of the fence, about women in prison... I'm innocent, I did nothing wrong! Really? I've come across these people, I've talked to them, heard their story then read the media side of the story. People lie! Then there are those who say I did this and I did that, when all they really did was something small. Why? well, they all have a different story, their own reason for saying what they do. Try playing truth or dare with a bunch of felons! Sometimes I would like to put that 15 months of my past out of my mind... then I think- no, I cherish those memories, and the education I got from these women. I studied psychology my first attempt at college, I could read these people and understand (somewhat) who they were and why they did what they did- or why they deny their guilt.
You never understand another persons choices or actions until you have been in their shoes, or spent an incredible amount of time listening to their stories. And that brings their past into their present. My past helps me keep an open mind, helps me be more understanding, and helps me be me. There are things in my past I am not proud of, but I will never regret those choices, nor will I lie and claim I never did them!
I guess what I am saying is I don't really want to get past my past, but I am living this life as a result of my past... and I am happy with it!
Once in a while I am reminded of some of these things... I see someone I grew up with, I am reminded of a vacation I went on with my family, or something comes up in conversation about something I have been thru personally. I can't just pretend those things never happened, I want my experiences to be a part of who I am, and how I can help people.
I was reminded recently of the domestic violence I experienced at the hand of my first husband- I had to speak out and show my understanding and support for this woman when everyone else criticized her choices.
I have had a couple things come up- one on both sides of the fence, about women in prison... I'm innocent, I did nothing wrong! Really? I've come across these people, I've talked to them, heard their story then read the media side of the story. People lie! Then there are those who say I did this and I did that, when all they really did was something small. Why? well, they all have a different story, their own reason for saying what they do. Try playing truth or dare with a bunch of felons! Sometimes I would like to put that 15 months of my past out of my mind... then I think- no, I cherish those memories, and the education I got from these women. I studied psychology my first attempt at college, I could read these people and understand (somewhat) who they were and why they did what they did- or why they deny their guilt.
You never understand another persons choices or actions until you have been in their shoes, or spent an incredible amount of time listening to their stories. And that brings their past into their present. My past helps me keep an open mind, helps me be more understanding, and helps me be me. There are things in my past I am not proud of, but I will never regret those choices, nor will I lie and claim I never did them!
I guess what I am saying is I don't really want to get past my past, but I am living this life as a result of my past... and I am happy with it!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Welcoming October
I'm really struggling with October being here already, I would normally have Halloween decor up, but not this year... we are moving in less than week. That- I am so excited about! I am going to miss a lot about this place, but it will be nice to be away from the things we don't like, and to have our own space.
Welcomed in October different than usual... We normally do a ride this first weekend- the Breast Cancer Ride was yesterday. Instead, we went to watch Kacey play football, then last night went to an end of summer bbq. Very nice, relaxing day. Today we dropped Sadie at the vet for a few hours and took Roxy to play with Pilot. Roxy has so much energy and could probably just run forever if we let her! She and Pilot are perfect playmates. It was good to visit with my best friend for a bit while the dogs played. After we picked Sadie up, we just watched football the rest of the day, Sadie is still pretty much out of it, so it has been a quiet day. Overall a very nice weekend.
I'm getting more and more frustrated about my health. I thought once I started getting answers, and treatments that I would feel better about things. Not happening! I got answers- some so far. I am taking the pills the doctor told me to take, I am working on my eating and nutritional changes that my nutritionist is telling me to do... and I still feel like crap much of the time! What am I doing wrong? Or what do we need to test next? I know it can't all be fixed over night, but seriously- it's been close to a month! I do have days where I don't feel bad at all, and less days of feeling really terrible. the past couple days tho- vertigo. I haven't had that since my stroke! I am doing my best not to complain to my family and let them know how upset this all makes me, and how sick I feel most of the time. But then I know they get irritated when I want to go home, or take a nap if I don't let them know this is why.
I am really hoping after we move and get settled, I will start feeling better just because of the stress and tension that will be missing from my life. There will be new stress, of course, but the tension will be gone, the thick negative energy will be gone... and I should be able to breathe clear air again.
So our new landlord confirmed the house will be ready on Saturday! Troy's boss is letting him borrow a 24 ft box truck from work to move with for the day. Everything seems to be falling into place! Now I just have to hope I get some help from friends so we have the muscle to get the truck loaded! I'm pretty sure we will be able to get everything in one load, and we should be able to be out of here in one day. Altho I will probably come back on Sunday to to clean up a bit and double check we got everything. I am so looking forward to this! I am sure this week will drag by just because we are all so anxious for Saturday to get here!
To everyone who reads this, I pray you had a wonderful weekend and I wish you a beautiful week! And remember... whatever challenges you may be going thru, they are happening for a reason. You may not realize that reason for a few years, but there is a reason! Never give up, keep fighting that fight!
Welcomed in October different than usual... We normally do a ride this first weekend- the Breast Cancer Ride was yesterday. Instead, we went to watch Kacey play football, then last night went to an end of summer bbq. Very nice, relaxing day. Today we dropped Sadie at the vet for a few hours and took Roxy to play with Pilot. Roxy has so much energy and could probably just run forever if we let her! She and Pilot are perfect playmates. It was good to visit with my best friend for a bit while the dogs played. After we picked Sadie up, we just watched football the rest of the day, Sadie is still pretty much out of it, so it has been a quiet day. Overall a very nice weekend.
I'm getting more and more frustrated about my health. I thought once I started getting answers, and treatments that I would feel better about things. Not happening! I got answers- some so far. I am taking the pills the doctor told me to take, I am working on my eating and nutritional changes that my nutritionist is telling me to do... and I still feel like crap much of the time! What am I doing wrong? Or what do we need to test next? I know it can't all be fixed over night, but seriously- it's been close to a month! I do have days where I don't feel bad at all, and less days of feeling really terrible. the past couple days tho- vertigo. I haven't had that since my stroke! I am doing my best not to complain to my family and let them know how upset this all makes me, and how sick I feel most of the time. But then I know they get irritated when I want to go home, or take a nap if I don't let them know this is why.
I am really hoping after we move and get settled, I will start feeling better just because of the stress and tension that will be missing from my life. There will be new stress, of course, but the tension will be gone, the thick negative energy will be gone... and I should be able to breathe clear air again.
So our new landlord confirmed the house will be ready on Saturday! Troy's boss is letting him borrow a 24 ft box truck from work to move with for the day. Everything seems to be falling into place! Now I just have to hope I get some help from friends so we have the muscle to get the truck loaded! I'm pretty sure we will be able to get everything in one load, and we should be able to be out of here in one day. Altho I will probably come back on Sunday to to clean up a bit and double check we got everything. I am so looking forward to this! I am sure this week will drag by just because we are all so anxious for Saturday to get here!
To everyone who reads this, I pray you had a wonderful weekend and I wish you a beautiful week! And remember... whatever challenges you may be going thru, they are happening for a reason. You may not realize that reason for a few years, but there is a reason! Never give up, keep fighting that fight!
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