A Day Of Beauty

Yesterday was such an amazing day! It has been quite a while since I have taken a long ride on the bike, and yesterday reminded me that I need to get back on. Provo Canyon is truly one of my favorite places to ride, so beautiful and I notice something new everytime we ride it. We rode to Duchesne... Provo Canyon, Daniels Summit, it was all so wonderful. The lakes and streams, the birds, the beautiful green on the hills~ Mother Nature is amazing!
We rode to Maria's property to see her and the new puppies. 7 two-week old weimaraner pups!  Such beautiful gifts of the gods.

 

I am so blessed to have the people in my life, and the opportunity to appreciate the little things in life. Maria and Jason live on a piece of land 10 miles from civilization, its amazing! They are right there in nature! We had a half dozen chipmunks scurrying around us while we ate lunch, we saw hawks and ravens, I even saw an eagle! I spent time with family and friends just enjoying the simple things in life... who needs material things when you have so much more? 
Puppy breath, laughter, fresh air, and love! These are the things that are beautiful in my life! And I will spend a day just like this anytime over shopping or wasting time trying to please others!

Take Me As I Am

So here I am, a person people either love or want nothing to do with... rarely is there an in between for me. 
Religious views? Wicca. Where I live, not very accepted! Altho I come across a number of people who respect my views, there are those narrow minded  people who don't want to expand their minds and accept that not everyone believes the same as they do. I respect everyone's right to choose their beliefs and I see no reason we can't live peacefully and learn from each other.
Sexual orientation? I am bisexual. Altho I have been in more relationships with men, I have a need to have a woman in my life, not just sexually, but on all levels of a relationship. I get much more emotionally and mentally from women. I often believe I was born into the wrong lifestyle, I think polygamy is an amazing idea, and I have in the past lived a polyamorous lifestyle, and would love to enter into another relationship in that life if I can ever find the right woman. 
Drugs? Yes, I've done my share. But haven't touched them in years. I was never an addict, I never got in legal trouble over it, I guess you could say I was a responsible user. Alcohol? I love to drink... when I am with friends, and if I am feeling well. I'm not the type to drink alone, and if I know my health isn't wanting me to drink, I will stick to drinking Mountain Dew. Smoke? Yeah, I do that, too! Been working on quitting, but it's not easy.
I've been divorced 4 times. I had an abortion. I gave up a child for adoption. I've been in prison. I have tattoos. And yes, there is so much more!
Do you hate me yet? these are more than enough reasons for many people!
But this is me, and I am happy with who I am. I love everyone, I search for the good in them. My least favorite word is HATE, such an angry, useless emotion! I try to bring smiles to peoples faces, I do what I can to support charity and I'd give the shirt off my back for a friend or a friend of my child. I am a good person, some people just see the negative, and search for the bad in every situation! That is why I walked away from the past... those judgmental people hurt me deep inside, hard to believe we are the same blood.

My Childhood

My entire past wasn't terrible, I actually had quite a nice childhood and feel I was brought up well. Everything changed once I hit my teens... and all went downhill from there. There were, of course, positive times in my past~ I have some amazing memories of fun times, and obviously the birth and upbringing of my daughter. But as for the overall view from about 1980 to 2005... most of it I wouldn't mind forgetting.
My family, consisted of my parents, who are still married after a short split back in the 80's, my sister, who came from my dads first marriage, and myself. My sister was the girlie one, I was the tomboy. Both my parents worked and we had all the things we needed. We were considered upper-middle class. We traveled, we had a boat, we had some great times. I was a daddys girl, always wanting to be just like my dad and making him proud was all that ever mattered to me! I never really felt close to my mother, which eventually got worse and was the cause of so many of my problems. My sister was 5 years older than I, and we were never really close either, we were total opposites! None of my extended family ever lived near us, but we went to see them often.
 I was raised by parents who believed the wifes place was in the kitchen- never the husband, we always sat down together at the dinner table... with no television! Children never spoke out of turn, we were raised with values and morals and manners and respect (no, religion is no necessary for that!).  Chores got done when they were expected to, homework was done after school and before anything else. There was no religion in my home, my parents came from different religious backgrounds and I think they just decided to let my sister and I decide for ourselves when we got old enough. We did things as a family, we voted on where to go for family vacations. We were never physically punished, rarely punished at all- because we knew the rules, and respected our parents. After a while my sister decided she didn't like doing the things our family did, so I was pretty much an only child after about age 10... trips and outings were me and my parents.
It saddens me to think back about how lucky I was as a child, and what a wonderful life I had, and then see where all that ended up. But I know I am doing what I have to in order to be happy and healthy, and I know my choices are what is best. 
A lot of people look at me and wonder how I turned out the way I did after being raised as I was. They see my sister and wonder how we can even be related because we are so different... different ideals, different priorities, different beliefs... nothing about us is the same. I have no contact with these people at this point in my life... this is my doing, my choice. And it is what is best.

Regrets

So the blog address is 'my life with no regret.' Why? A lot of people look at my life, where I've been, what I've done, and think- wow, I bet she has a lot of regrets! How can I regret anything I have done? Regret means you wish you hadn't done it. If I changed anything from my past, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today. I wouldn't have the amazing husband I have, the beautiful daughter I have and the daughter I was able to give to a family who couldn't have one of their own. I wouldn't know many of the people I do, or be as knowledgeable as I am. I regret nothing! yes, there are a couple things I once wished were different in my life, but I have chosen to move past that (Life After the Past) and live in the now! We cannot dwell on the past, there is no changing it! We can only live for now and for tomorrow. I don't know if my husband will die at work tomorrow, if my daughter might get kidnapped after work... I live every moment for the people I love, so they know I love them! And if I happen to die overnight, I will die knowing that my loved ones are happy and know how I felt about them.No, I don't dwell on the idea that I will lose them every day, thats the last thing I want! But it could happen. I never go to bed mad, I tell them every day, everytime I go to bed or someone leaves the house, that I love them. I begin and end each day with a smile and a positive thought, no matter how small it is- I find a positive thought for the day! I only have this life and I won't waste it being unhappy, living in the past, wondering what if.
February of 2007 was the beginning for me, it took a couple years after that to lose the rest of the dead weight that was holding me back. Today I am a different, happy person. And altho there have been a lot of difficult times in my 'past' life, I have no regrets, and I have no fears.
Life is what we make it... make it count and make it good! 

A Gay Day In History

We did it! The federal court of appeals overturned the ban on gay marriage in the state of Utah! This is an incredible day for so many! I honestly didn't think this would happen in Utah for a while, with the LDS church controlling most of the government. This should never have been a political issue or a church issue, it's a human rights issue. Gov. Herbert and a number of other politicians fought and wasted so much of our tax dollars to keep gay marriage out of our state, but they lost! And I couldn't be happier! I have a number of friends who can now legally get married! Not only is it about marriage, but it affects all aspects of their life! They now have all the rights (and responsibilities) of married people! Adoption, home ownership, tax filing, wills and medical rights... the list is endless! For those who do not approve of this, I say get over yourself and stop judging! Your god is the only judge, the Bible taught you that. 40 years ago it was not acceptable for a white man to marry a black or asian woman, now this is common. Times change, people grow and accept what is right. Every person deserves to be happy~ and to show that happiness! I hope to be attending many same sex weddings in the future!
I am proud of our federal court system for seeing things as they should be!
Have a gay day everyone!
Here's to the entire country seeing the rainbow in the near future!

My Animals

So I mentioned earlier I am an animal lover. So Here are some photos of my kids...

We got Roxy, a black lab mix late summer of 2112, she has become a fantastic companion pet and seizure alert dog for me.

Sadie is a blue tick hound/ silver lab mix... but all hound when it comes to her personality! she just turned a year and has been a handful since we got her.

My daughter has begged for a cat for such a long time, so I promised when we finally got into a house she could get one. But Lilly seems to prefer the men in the house over her!

I especially love reptiles, snakes mostly. At one time I had 4 snakes, but currently only have Zavina. She is a Dumerils Boa, one of the most beautiful breeds I have ever come across as a pet.

When my husband and I moved in together, he swore there would never be a reptile in our home... I quickly changed his mind, and he fell in love with the Bearded Dragon. This is Malachi, my husbands pet!

I am planning to use a lot of photos in this blog to show my life and my happiness. Sometimes words just can't show what a picture can.

I love all these animals, as well as the 2 other cats that live in the house~ Isis belongs to our roommate and Callie to his daughter. My ideal home would be on a piece of property at least an acre, and have more pets- dogs I could rescue, I'd love a goat, more snakes... and plenty of room for them all! And I hope to one day have another big bird or two. I once had a Senegal Parrot, and would love another one! The only trouble with all these animals would be paying for all the food and vet care! But never give up on the dream!

Starting Out Fresh

I didn't like the direction my other blog had gone, so here I am starting out fresh! My plan here is to post about my daily life, whether it is fabulous things going on or just crap I need to get off my chest. I also plan to give a little history about who I am, somethings about my background that made me the person I am today~ the good, the bad, stuff I just need to let out! 
I have chosen to put the past behind me and start my life fresh as of 2007, when I turned 40 and married the amazing man I have in my life now. There has been much hurt, many situations people would consider mistakes- but I don't believe in mistakes, everything happens for a reason! I wouldn't be where I am today without those so called mistakes happening.
So for those who don't know me here is a quick wrap up of who I am... My name is Red, I have a fabulous husband and a beautiful daughter.I also have a younger daughter who I gave up for adoption but will meet soon. I am an animal lover, with 2 dogs, a snake, a cat, and a lizard in our home. I used to be a workaholic until my health failed me, now I am a stay at home mom and wife to my 22 year old daughter and her amazing boyfriend who lives with us, and of course my husband, and the pets. For the most part I love my life, but I do suffer from depression and have bad days with that as well as bad days with my other health problems. I am wiccan, an herbalist, and do my best to find the positive in every situation! My favorite activities include the outdoors, being on the back of my husbands motorcycle tops the list! And spending time with my family.

My Husband and I

My daughter and her man