Truth

Truth- sometimes hard to admit. Often hard to accept. Always the best way to face a situation!
So here is some truth from me. Some might be buried in this blog, but it's stuff that is on my mind now. I am having a lot of emotional breakthroughs lately... i think it had something to do with the mental clarity aspect of Thrive.
Truth- I'm terrified about next week. Not about him getting out of prison, but of the thoughts I'm having.
Truth- my physical health is better than it has been in 11 years. And i feel eleven years younger.
Truth- i very much dislike my body. I do not have an eating disorder, but i would be thrilled to lose 50 pounds. 
Truth- i was having suicidal thoughts days before i started my Thrive experience. I also contemplated divorce as well as just walking or the door and never turning back.
Truth- i almost started using drugs again, just days before discovering thrive.
Truth- i hate my mother. No, i don't think i will ever regret not telling her i love her, because ii don't. I occasionally wish her dead- terrible to wish anyone dead, but i love my dad and miss him. And for him to be a part of my life, she has to be out of his.
Truth- no matter how much my health changes, there will still be something missing from my life. I don't believe i will ever feel 100% complete. I need a woman in my life.
Truth- i am not ashamed of any part of who i am!  Or where I've been. I don't care who knows that Iwas in prison. I don't care that people know i used to produce porn. And i don't care if the world knows Iused to have a drinking problem.
Truth- i hate being a stay at home wife! I would rather work 60 hours a week!
Truth- i think of my littlest girl every day! I cry for her multiple times a week. I miss my daughter. But i will not jeopardize a future relationship by pushing for one now.
Truth- sometimes Ithink, if i had the body, i would think about getting back into the industry.
Truth-over the past 30 years i have seen and done things that would blow most people's minds. Some terrifying, some exciting, some stupid. Some truly unbelievable.
Truth-my husband snores bad if he had his arm above his head- no matter how his body is positioned!
Just threw that last one in there because in bed and keep having to move his arm!
Truth-is late, I'm tired, and you are probably bored with me for today!
As Ikeep saying, Thrive is not just a life changer- it's a life saver, you can see this is true for me. There is a very good chance I'd be dead today if Thrive had not found me exactly when it did.
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