As a mother of an adult daughter, I am slowly realizing why my mother did some of the things she did... I am seeing how my actions affected her. My daughter is a strong, independent young woman. And I am very proud of her, I am proud that she is so strong and making choices for herself... no matter how painful it is for me, or anyone else in the family.
She was married a little over a year and a half ago... about 3 months after they were married is about the time our family saw a side of her husband that we didn't like. And everything changed...
His actions not only disrespected my daughter, but most of her family- as well as his own. His words cut deep to everyone he spoke his mind to. My daughters actions- defending him, standing by him no matter how much frustration and unhappiness we could see in her... it hurt all of us who cared for her... but it took me back.
I once got involved with (and eventually married... and divorced) someone my parents didn't like- at all. And the further into this marriage I watched my daughter, the more I saw myself. I saw so many similarities between my ex-husband, and my daughters husband.
There is no need for me to go into detail about her marriage, all I will say is my daughter finally had enough and drew the line... just like I did. She did it her way- just like I did. She didn't want to hear what Mom had to say, she didn't take Moms advice... just me 20 years ago.
I never realized how hard it is to be a parent of an adult. I continue to learn and grow as a parent... and as a daughter.
I put my parents thru hell, and I always had it in my head that it was 'their fault'... no, it was all of us. As parents we need to allow our kids to make mistakes and learn and make choices- no matter the ultimate outcome. As children, well, as children we have no idea what our parents are dealing with, how they see things... but we need to understand that they have seen and done more things than we have- and just maybe there is a legit reason they feel the way they do about situations, relationships, people. Just maybe they have been there- or had a friend who went thru something similar.
I have had more than the average share of issues with my parents, but I have always respected them. They did the best they could with a pretty independent fire sign! My parents have always been good people, and I know I will never be the kind of parent my mom was, but I hope my daughter can look at me one day and say I was a good mom and she does have respect for me. I am now the mother of another fire sign child... and the older she gets- the more that fire burns!
I have made mistakes as a daughter and as a mother- I think we all do. But life is too short to allow those mistakes to create a wall between you and your mother or daughter. Accept that you are not perfect, accept that your mom- your daughter- your brother is not perfect. Live and love those who truly impact your life and cherish every moment with them.
I am a daughter of a very good woman who gave me all she could.
I am a mother of an incredible young lady who I have to let live her own life.
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