Tomorrow I get the keys to the house Troy and I are moving into. Tomorrow my family will sign the lease take over on this house. It is time for all of us to take that big scary step of moving on.
Excited? Yes. Scared? Yes. I haven't lived with just my husband since we were first married!
I love having people around, Im social like that. And helping and caring for others- its what I do- so what will I do now? Oh yeah- find myself and rebuild my marriage.
This family I have had for the past year and a half has changed my life, and I will be forever thankful they came into my world. Forever friends and forever family.
They taught me about family, they showed me what it means to be a strong family and stick together no matter what comes at you. They helped me understand what a marriage truly is. They were a reminder every day of why I do the things I do, helping others. They gave me hope for myself, they brought so many smiles and so much laughter to my life. They gave me reason to celebrate life.
Its going to be so strange coming home to just my 2 dogs, I will miss the other 4- I really have gotten attached to them, but it will be much quieter. Waking up to no one home? Kind of a creepy thought. But I guess the privacy will be nice.
I'm worried about my job. It is no longer walking distance. And I won't have anyone with us who can take me or let me borrow a car from. I used to worry about being alone, my health... but I don't fear that anymore. I feel better, and have faith that I will continue getting better.
This is a new chapter for my husband and I, and I plan to take full advantage of this. I want to start over and focus on our marriage and building it stronger- like we should have done in the beginning.
This is also a new chapter for our family... they will finally have a chance to be a family with no interference, they can be the family they want to be without restriction of others in the home. all the struggles they have faced, and now they are where they want and need to be. This was everyones goal for them! Help them got on their feet so they can have the fresh start they so desperately deserve. I am proud of them for all they have overcome and accomplished for themselves since coming here. And a moment of gloat for me... I am happy to feel that I played a role in all that.
I swore 2018 would be the year for me, and this is a huge step toward that. I wasn't expecting this- at least not this early in the year! But I am truly happy for all of us. And even more happy to say that we have maintained our friendship and will continue that friendship! I pray the kids will want to remain a part of my life too- they have brought me so much joy! I love them and think of them as my niece and nephews.
Here's to a new shot for all of us! Blessed for the memories we have built together!
one day a long time ago I met a gal on social media. We became such good friends! Then it became more... quickly. She was married, but, like me, bisexual. We began a relationship. I got involved with someone who didn't really understand that, so I backed off to focus on this man. We remained best friends thru it all. our relationship- complicated is the best way I can describe it. Best friends both with buried feelings of love for each other. for a while I was her boss, then not, we had periods of time where we didn't talk... both of us were so stubborn, and got easily hurt because of how we felt.
Then one day day I got a phone call... did you hear about Chelle?
My best friend, the love of my life- had breast cancer.
From that moment forward I was back in her life supporting her, being there, treasuring the moments and the laughs.
She beat the cancer after surgery and treatment and destroying her body. But a while later she went to the doctor for something bothering her... it was back. Bone cancer.
This was hell. She broke bones, she hurt always- but she fought, and she didn't let any of us see her pain.
A couple surgeries in, I remember being at the hospital visiting her after a hip surgery... the oncologist came to see her. He said things that made it obvious to me she had been lying and keeping things from me about how she was truly doing. I had to cut that visit short, I barley got out of her room before I was in full tears.
I was going to lose her.
Her daughter moved their wedding up, that was the first hint to me that things were worse than I was led to believe. I knew, I just didn't want to accept it.
Not long after the wedding she fell and broke something. she was in the hospital for quite a while, then was released to a rehab center. then she went to stay with her mom rather than going home- she needed 24 hour care. I didn't see her after that. We talked a few times, but I couldn't bring myself to see her. I didn't want that image in my head. Yes, I was being selfish, but I was hurting and didnt know how to deal with any of this.
I got a call one day that she had been taken to the hospital, she had pneumonia. I knew what that meant, people with cancer can't fight illnesses like that. Then I was told they were asking that we do not come visit... I felt my heart just sink. I was told here and there that she was doing ok, just really needs to rest and recover.
Then one night I got a text... we as a family have made the decision to remove the life support.
WTF? She was on life support? And no one told me? No one gave me a chance to come say goodbye? I fell apart that night. I laid in a parking lot screaming, I shot whiskey, I cried until my eyes were dry, I stared into darkness until the sun came up... I lost her that night- for real.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her. I would give anything for just one more day.
I loved my Michelle, she was in so many ways my soumate, not just my best friend. I lost her in this world, but I know she is here with me at times, she is also watching over her granddaughter who never had a chance to meet her. Chelle had just learned she was going to be a grandma a couple weeks before she passed.
Michelle
One night I was on my laptop having a discussion in a group on Facebook, I got a message froma gal who was very much like minded. we immediately became good friends, as we chatted online we learned we had more and more in common, same wants, same beliefs, same lifestyle ideals... we started talking on the phone and texting- all the time! We talked about her coming to visit- we even talked about her moving here! There was an incredible emotional bond between us after a short time. I truly fell in love with this young lady (young meaning a few years younger than me). She was so beautiful, so kind and caring, she always made me smile and laugh and feel better! for a long time she was my rock and my world. During some struggles in my marriage- which she was also going thru, we were there for each other.
then one day, in the middle of texting and laughing... she sent me a screen shot of something i had posted on my twitter... she had long since deleted her FB account, but still had other social media. She was furious at my opinion. It was political, it wasn't even a statement for or against anyone- just an opinion of the election. within minutes I was told she never wanted to hear from me again and can't believe I would say something so completely opposite of how she felt. I was in tears! suddenly I was blocked from calling or messaging her!? I was lost... for days i just cried. I was so confused. the ONE person who truly got me, and who I thought would never judge or hate. we had that connection and respect for each other. I tried to explain to her that wasn't a statement of support for but a statement of acceptance, i tried so hard to get her to see what I meant... but she wouldn't talk to me.
I tried to send a text a year later just to say happy birthday... i got a message saying it was not received. I think about her all the time still, I miss her. I loved her.
They say some people come into our lives for a season... I felt she was here for ever, but I suppose she was autumn. My Halloween lady. I will never forget her.
