Yesterday, following some doctor appointments, my daughter and went to my parents house to drop off a disk of wedding pics so they can choose and print the ones they want and always be able to pic more and have them right there. I have not been to my parents home in over 5 years- have seen them once in 5 years. havent spoken to them in 5 years. There was a bit of anxiety there! But I know I need to fix things at some point between us... they are my parents! No matter how much I dislike the things my mother does and says, bottom line is I love my parents and would hate for them to pass away with us not on good terms- I want them to know I love them. I want my girls to know that even the toughest of relationships can be mended, and I want us to be a family- especially now that I am somewhat in my younger daughters life. It was an awkward visit, but it went well. We were there maybe ten minutes- talked about the photos and how to go about getting prints, small talk about family and the neighbors in the old hood.
A little later in the day I layed down for an hour nap- I still need them once in a while! about 40 minutes later I was awakened by the front door slamming and my roommate screaming for me... but something in her voice told me this was bad. I jumped, I caught up to her as she was heading back out the door... eyes wide, tears in her eyes, and shaking terribly while listening on the phone. She just stared me blankly... she walked to the gate, turned, screamed and threw her phone as she dropped to the ground. I picked up the phone as my daughter helped her up and attempted to lead her to a chair. I introduced myself to whomever was on the other end, and I learned that her mother had passed. As my roommate puts it she was a hot mess! I wrote down all the important info she needed while she tried to pack for an immediate departure to Idaho. She is an only child, everything is in her lap now- from funeral decisions to the house payment and possible sale, insurance and any legal stuff. All she could say yesterday was "I don't want to adult right now!" I get it! I think everyone wants to go back to childhood when they lose a parent.
She was not close to her mother, they were estranged. Pretty much a fluke that she even found out her mother passed, really! She out of the blue decided to call her one relative whom she is somewhat close to- this was just hours after her mother was found. No one knew how to contact my room mate. When she first moved back to Utah- in with us, back the first of June- her original plan was to take a few days to settle then go up to visit her mother and see if they could talk a little. Then it got put off a couple weeks. Then I stopped hearing about her plans to visit... She never made it to see her mother.
After she was on the road to go do her 'adulting' and face this terrible loss, my own personal wheels got turning... what if that was my mom? What if I was the one falling apart on my good friends shoulder and having to drive to her house and to a funeral home... What a reality smack in the face!
I am truly heartbroken for my friend, not that she lost her mother so much, but that she has inside of her that she never got to say goodbye, never made amends, never had the chance to let her mom know that deep down she does love her. I can't imagine not having that kind of closure. I pray that she is able to find peace and some kind of closure with what she is going thru right now.
It told me this is the time! I have to repair the damaged relationship I have with my family! I need to reconnect, I need to tell my parents how much they mean to me- how much I love them.
I love you mom and dad!
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