Regret

I don't really have any regrets, every choice I've made, everything I have done, or not done, has made me the person I am today- put me right where I am. And yes, I am happy where I am in my life for the most part.
But we all have those times that we think back to that one time in our lives, that what if moment, asking ourselves if it was the right choice, if it was worth it... where would I be if...?
I was at a place in life a few years back that I had to make a major decision- it came down to what was best for me, my daughter (both of them), and my future. I know I made the 'right' choice, if there is a right or wrong- which I honestly don't believe there is! I gave up a large part of who I was, things that truly defined me- I sacrificed who I was to become who I knew I needed to be, not realizing the impact that would have on my future, on my emotions, my self worth, and my purpose. These feeling hit me every few months, something comes up in conversation, or I see someone from that part of my life... and I remember what I was like and what my life was like, and I have to wonder... "if I had taken the path that went forward instead of taking the exit I did, where would I be?"
It isn't regret, it is curiosity. I love my life today! The past few month have given me new purpose and a new definition of my life almost. When someone asks "who is Red?" People answer with things I am proud of~ she's Troys wife, she's that biker girl who supports the fallen, she is my Thrive rep! I love these as the things that define me!
Maybe one day I can incorporate these things that I am now so passionate about, with the things I was once passionate about but chose to walk away from... Yes, I miss parts of the old me, things I thought I could simply walk away from but have remained in my heart.
You can change your future, but you cannot change the past, your past does not define who you are today, but you can never completely put your past behind you, especially if you were passionate about those things.
This week has been tough in this aspect for me, obviously- or I wouldn't be blogging it, right? Looking at vacation spots for Troy and I when we are rich, seeing someone "I used to know" while out with my hunny, end of June... the time of year the former me looked forward to.
Don't ever regret your choices, look back and believe you made the decision you did because it was what was meant to be.