In recent weeks and months I have made some major changes to my life... for me. The most recent change was this past few days, I made a choice to remove over 100 people from my social media... Honestly, there could have been a lot more, but this was a very positive start for me. Some of these people I have wanted to remove from my life for a very long time, but just didn't have the nerve to do it, others have been more recent decisions- the past few months. But now that I live away from the city, away from where I might actually see these people- I realize how very unimportant I am in their lives even better than I did before. And that I truly don't have a need for those kind of people.
Rumors started flying! I was accused of this and that, deleting people for such and such a reason... blah blah blah! And these accusations were from someone not even on my social media accounts! Get over yourself!
I made these choices based on who I am and who I need to be, who those people are- or were, to me. I don't need all that in my life anymore, when all it does is cause stress or hurt. And honestly, your opinion of me or my actions- doesn't affect me.
If those people want to fall into the games and believe the hate they are told- so be it, I don't need people like that in my life anyway! If they actually take the time to come to the source, and find out for themselves the true reason I removed them from social media and possible my life- then I know there is still hope for those people, and I am absolutely willing to talk to them and explain my reasoning. Many of those people won't even notice, but the ones who will- they have my phone number, or they can still contact me on social media- they aren't blocked, only deleted.
I am in the most positive and peaceful place in my life right now, I am making choices to improve my life and my marriage. I have only cried once since I moved- and being a parent that is unavoidable. But the depression is fading away, and the more I am able to distance myself from the toxic 'friendships', the better I will be. I know who has my back, I know who cares, and I know the people who are a positive light in my life. For me to move forward on the path I am on, this is what I need. After constant thoughts of suicide- I am no longer thinking of whose feelings I might hurt- I'm thinking about the life I am saving.
Many of those who were removed, I care very much for- considered them family. Yes, it was a hard choice to make. I will always keep them in a positive place in my thoughts, pray for them and hope they can find happiness in the damage they bring others, or at least see that they more than likely don't realize the damage and hurt they cause.
I need to take care of me. I am taking the steps to do so. If that offends you- I'm honestly not sorry. Because this is MY life, and I choose happy.
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