My Love

My Love

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Rumors and Drama- Believe What you want!

In recent weeks and months I have made some major changes to my life... for me. The most recent change was this past few days, I made a choice to remove over 100 people from my social media... Honestly, there could have been a lot more, but this was a very positive start for me. Some of these people I have wanted to remove from my life for a very long time, but just didn't have the nerve to do it, others have been more recent decisions- the past few months. But now that I live away from the city, away from where I might actually see these people- I realize how very unimportant I am in their lives even better than I did before. And that I truly don't have a need for those kind of people.
Rumors started flying! I was accused of this and that, deleting people for such and such a reason... blah blah blah! And these accusations were from someone not even on my social media accounts! Get over yourself!
I made these choices based on who I am and who I need to be, who those people are- or were, to me. I don't need all that in my life anymore, when all it does is cause stress or hurt. And honestly, your opinion of me or my actions- doesn't affect me.
If those people want to fall into the games and believe the hate they are told- so be it, I don't need people like that in my life anyway! If they actually take the time to come to the source, and find out for themselves the true reason I removed them from social media and possible my life- then I know there is still hope for those people, and I am absolutely willing to talk to them and explain my reasoning. Many of those people won't even notice, but the ones who will- they have my phone number, or they can still contact me on social media- they aren't blocked, only deleted.
I am in the most positive and peaceful place in my life right now, I am making choices to improve my life and my marriage. I have only cried once since I moved- and being a parent that is unavoidable. But the depression is fading away, and the more I am able to distance myself from the toxic 'friendships', the better I will be. I know who has my back, I know who cares, and I know the people who are a positive light in my life. For me to move forward on the path I am on, this is what I need. After constant thoughts of suicide- I am no longer thinking of whose feelings I might hurt- I'm thinking about the life I am saving.
Many of those who were removed, I care very much for- considered them family. Yes, it was a hard choice to make. I will always keep them in a positive place in my thoughts, pray for them and hope they can find happiness in the damage they bring others, or at least see that they more than likely don't realize the damage and hurt they cause.
I need to take care of me. I am taking the steps to do so. If that offends you- I'm honestly not sorry. Because this is MY life, and I choose happy.

Monday, June 18, 2018

The McCann Mansion

McCann Mansion
A lot has happened over the past couple months! We left the only place we have ever called home to go to a small town where we know practically no one. So let me back up to what led us here...
May 2nd I was doing yard work and something told me that Troy and I needed to drive to Helper to visit our friends there that weekend. It couldn't wait, it had to be that weekend. So I called my husband at work and told him our ride plans were off, we are going away for the weekend. And on Friday we jumped on the bike and headed out!
We had an amazing time! Not just hanging out with our friends, but the sights and the people and the energy. I could see the stars and the air was clean, there was no traffic and the people were so nice! By Sunday there had been so many signs that this is where we belong, that we just couldn't ignore it. We rode around looking at homes- to buy! Homes are about a third the cost of comparable homes in Salt Lake. Troy was looking into jobs.
We returned almost every weekend for 5 weeks. Troy got a great job offer, we found the perfect home...
On the night on June 7th we met with the owner of the home we ow call McCann Mansion, while she was passing thru Salt Lake, got keys and signed some papers.
And the morning of June 8th-- we pulled out of Salt Lake with everything we owned in our truck and a trailer... for good.
Happiest day in a very long time! I hate the city and everything about it! I have wanted to leave Salt Lake for years, the longer I am there the more unhappy I become.
I was sick of the filthy air and the traffic, I worried sick every day about my husband on his motorcycle- seems there is an accident every other day involving a bike! I am sick of being taken advantage of and unappreciated, fed up with fake friends. I know, those kind of people exist everywhere- but getting away from all the ones who have hurt me and those who were on the path to hurting me... can't get to me now. And my faith in good people is being restored in small town life. We were tired of all the hard work Troy has put in and we still live pay check to pay check, renting, and nothing to show for all that work.
Troy has a wonderful job here. I am still putting our house together and working on the yard as much as I can for now. Our dogs love that they have over a third acre to run on- and no neighbors to yell at them! We have unlimited places to go on the bike- without worrying about traffic!
We will be signing on this home about September first, it will be ours- forever. We can buy a home, have a place to live when we retire. We can also save money, finish getting out of debt, and make this home exactly what we want it to be.
My husband and I now live in a very small community just south of Helper, UT, and we absolutely love it! We have friendly neighbors, we have made friends with people who would stop what they are doing to come help out if needed. I can see the stars at night and hear nothing! It is truly my heaven on earth.
My husband was terrified to make this move, all he has ever known was Salt Lake City. But he knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone for his future, for his own well being, and for his wife. My health, my depression, my sanity... all things that have been on the brink of killing me. And I love him more than anything for it!