This entire year has been so full of change- I truly did go on a soul searching mission, I needed to re-find myself, my passions, figure out what truly is important to me. When we moved in June, I walked away from a lot of people who I honestly felt just weren't that important anymore. I have eliminated so much negative from my life, and welcomed so much peace, I have built relationships that feel good to me, and am still working on rebuilding relationships that I have realized are important.
We had a number of things to take care of in the city and had put them off- knowing we would end up going to the city during the holidays whether we wanted to or not. So we made a list of what had to be done and who we truly wanted to see, and Friday we headed up.
Priorities were deal with first thing- business. Then off to visit a few people.
I can truly say our visit with my parents, altho short, was the best time I have had with them in I don't even know how long. We talked, we laughed, it was like everything is finally normal with us... after all the hurt and the anger, the years of no contact... I feel like I have my mom and dad again- and it is the best feeling ever!
We stayed the night with my mother-in-law and had a nice visit with her as well. She is truly the sweetest, kindest woman I have ever had in my life. We went to dinner with her and just spent some time visiting. She is often alone, both of her kids live a couple hours away. But she is a very kind and loving woman.
Saturday started with a phone call from my daughter- as my birthday always does, It sucks that I can't see her more, but that is part of having our kids grow up. Then some friends met us for breakfast, it was great to just relax and laugh with a bunch of our friends who really didn't even know each other! People I missed more than I realized- people who I care about a lot. There were people who couldn't be there that do mean the world to me, but it felt good that these few took the time to come see us.
We made one last stop half way home to see a dear friend who I realized I haven't seen in almost 3 years- but the friendship remains, she makes me laugh like no other.
We came home and spent a quiet evening at home with our fur babies who missed us terribly! Birthdays aren't what they used to be- I didn't care that I wasn't out drinking and dancing, I just wanted to be home.
Then Sunday came... catching up on chores and such, and watching football. Then a call from my daughter again... reality. Fear hit hard, shock, panic really. Her dad, my ex husband, had a heart attack. He turned 50 the day before and has always been one of the healthiest people I know. How does that even happen? I was overwhelmed with sudden thoughts of how do I help my daughter thru this- how would I help my daughter thru this if it had been a more serious heart attack? The thought of losing him has never entered my mind. My heart hurt, for her, for his mom who has been my best friend and my rock for almost 30 years, for my good friend who just became his wife a couple months ago... and for myself. I thank the gods he is going to be ok! He was taken by helicopter to the U of U, and if all goes well he could be home tomorrow. So much goes thru your head when something like this happens. I worry about my daughter, she knows her grand parents aren't well- but to have this now, to have the concern over her dad, too, just makes me sad. She has dealt with my health issues for as long as she can remember- but they have never been life threatening.
I think it is time for all of us to reevaluate our lifestyle choices and make some changes and do what it takes to improve our health and live longer so we can be here for her for as long as possible.
