Alone

A lot has gone on in my world since I last posted, but I have been too overwhelmed, tired, and busy to have time to share my feelings. But today I have to talk about something.
I have a friend I've known for over 30 years, he and my husband have known each other since the first day of kindergarten. He is one of the sweetest, kindest men I have ever known- he doesn't have a mean bone in his body, and I think I have seen him mad once. And he has had some struggles in life the past few years. Most recently, learning of a condition that was going to require major surgery.
Last night he called me, 12 hours prior to surgery. Terrified he wouldn't ever talk to me again, believing he would go into the operating room but never come out. It was a heartbreaking talk. He told me his mom would be at the hospital with him, so I said I'd be up after surgery and told him to have his mom call me.
I woke up early today, with a strange energy drawing me in the direction of the hospital- I kept looking to the sky near the hospital... I'm up, I'm worried and scared, why am I even thinking about sitting at home? I arrived at the hospital about 30 minutes after they took him into surgery... his mother was not there. They offered to allow me to sign in as family and get the OR updates, which I did. Surgery lasted 3 hours... his mother never showed up. The surgeon came and talked to me, explained what was done and how he was doing. I was told he would be in a room in CVICU and I could return to see him in about 2 hours, the time they expected he would start waking up.
I came back at 1:30, found my way to his room, spoke to his nurse for a minute then grabbed his hand and started talking to him. His eyes opened a bit, he squeezed my hand, and a tear rolled down his face. His mother was not there.
Due to the anesthesia, the breathing mask, the pain... it was tough to talk much with him. But I stayed at his side, rubbing his arm and holding his hand talking to him and talking to the nurse.
About 2 o'clock a woman walked in the room, asked if I was the nurse! I introduced myself and informed her I was a friend and I had been there all day, thru surgery, that I had spoken with the surgeon and been filled in by the nurse on his current status. I was LIVID. She said it was so nice that a friend would come see him, and she went to sit in the corner, opened her tablet and started reading! Didn't even go to her sons face! I told him his mom was there.
How can she be like that? Her son cried to me in fear last night! If I had known she wasn't going to be there first thing, I would have been at the hospital holding his hand as they put him under! If my kid was having surgery- minor or life threatening- I would be there! And I would be the first voice and the first touch my child had when waking up.
I just don't understand. I was just so heartbroken, and angry. Is this how a parent shows her love? I would expect this from my mother- but we don't even speak to each other. Paul seems to be close to his mom!
All that goes thru my head all day today... he arrived to the hospital- alone. He signed in- alone. He had a pre-op consult- alone. He was put under anesthesia and rolled into an operating room- with no one there. He believed, as all this was happening, that he would never make it out alive, he would never talk to his loved ones again... and he was alone.
People, our friends and family is all we have! Cherish every moment, support them when they need you, be there when they are alone. Don't let your loved ones go thru the biggest trials of their lives... alone.
An after note, Paul made it thru surgery, things went better than expected. He will be in CVICU for a few days depending on his recovery. Hours after surgery he was smiling, had a steady blood pressure and all that, had strength in his hands and feet... he smiled and talked. I will be returning tomorrow, and every day that I am able, until he is better!